Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or…
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.
Jane Smith: There’s this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don’t* say to each other. What’s that called?
Marriage Counselor: Marriage.
John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What’s wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [hitting John] You’re what’s wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that’s better. That’s *much* better.
Jane Smith: What’s her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you’re not gonna kill her.